Before You Mediate


Educate yourself about divorce.

Divorce is a time of great uncertainty.  Seeking information and advice from a wide variety of sources can help ease some of the stress.   Read about mediation and divorce, or talk with other divorced people about their experiences.  See Resources.

Express your feelings.

If you are like most people going through a divorce, you are experiencing strong emotions.  Before you mediate, find a loved one or therapist to help you move through any overwhelming anger, fear, pain or grief.  The more you can express your feelings outside of the mediation, the more productive your mediation will be.

Rally your friends and family.

The old norm in our culture is for friends and family to take sides, sever their relationship with one of you, and urge you to fight for everything you can get.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Tell your friends and family about your desire to avoid a contentious divorce and ask for their support.  If you have children, it is very important for your friends and family never  to say anything negative about either of you in front of your children.

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